First day of School

First day of school!!

Lola didn't get her way, so we DID walk her in to her class and did NOT drop her off outside as requested. We walked to her class, hung up her backpack outside the door, she walked in, sat down and we walked back out to the car. Very uneventful, not that I expected any issues, but this happened all to quickly for me. The one regret I have is that we didn't even get a hug goodbye. It was all so fast that I didn't realize it until we were in the car. I thought about it all day though.



It was very quiet at the house while she was at school and I got a lot done. Saylor took a nap and enjoyed being the center of attention. In fact, she laughed at us without even having to tickle her. It was very cute!

(yes we are in the car, NO we are not breaking the law! The car was parked and Jeff was in Panera getting tea....shocker right....lol)

But even with the new normal at home,  I was anxious to go back at 2pm to pick her up. We waited in our first pick up line. She walked out the doors with her backpack on her back and she looked so BIG!

She got in and I started the interrogation.....this is what I got after every question I asked. "Mom, I ate my sandwich and John (name changed for his sake...lol) had to sit in Tucker Turtle Time Out for not keeping his hands to himself." Well thanks for the info, but I could have told you that you ate your sandwich based on your empty container AND I don't care about someone else's kid that I do not know sitting in time out....ugh! Later in the day she told me one more piece of information...."I ate lunch with Milo, Reagan, Corbin and Mason"....to which I questioned several times as only Corbin is in her class and I thought they ate in their classrooms. Well, she informed me that this was only a "story" and she actually only ate with Corbin. We had a little chat about lying after that "story". Either way, I still have no information as to what she did, how she did or anything that happened between 9am-2pm, but she is ready to go back on Friday. So, all in all it was a success :)

"Drop Me Off"...This is VPK not High School!

Sunday we went to orientation for Lola to start VPK. She happily went to her "yellow" class with Ms. Paula and a few other kids. We then realized that we had to leave her there for a meeting in another room...oops so much for following directions as I preach so often.


Lola was thrilled and really wanted to stay for more"school" but we left and she wouldn't tell us anything about what she did in class. I know that she will divulge details as she decides I need to hear them...lol. We then head out to get her first day of school outfit that she picked out on her own (well kind of).

Jeff completed the homework project we were given at the orientation. (He hates homework, so this should be an interesting new chapter for us as parents...lol)


(I actually traced, cut out the hand, glued it on, printed the pic....he had to write the note in his best penmanship......might get a lesson from Lola down the road on that)

Then Monday rolls around and it was a rough day of not being able to give her enough to do and her getting in my way all day. (Sometimes I fail to remember that being a SAHM is about having kids at home "in my way"...duh...so my fail not hers.) Tuesday, I realize, that all she wants is to do "homework" because she is SO excited for school to start on Wednesday that she cannot contain herself. So, I give her "homework" (pages of tracing, coloring, writing, numbers and letters). All of which she completes beautifully.



So by 3pm today, I am starting to think about prepping for school tomorrow and tears begin to swell. My baby girl is going to school tomorrow...I know, I know...it's only Pre-K. But she has only been under my tutelage and I have been her main source of influence for the past four years, the only four years of her life. As we talk about walking her in to her class, Lola says, "Mom I don't want you to walk me in, just drop me off." WHAT?! I thought this didn't happen until high school.

My thoughts go from.... I am not going to "just drop her off" at class, wave to the teacher and walk out the door TO I am going to walk into the class, greet the teacher and spew out this in one run-on sentence without taking one single breath of air just to make sure she gets it all before tuning me out.....

"she's very sure of herself, but can be sensitive if she thinks she hurt your feelings, she loves competition but has to be reminded that sometimes we don't win, when she gets hurt she will do her best not to cry so you will need to ask her if you think she is hurt or you will never know, she will talk about "Mr. Danny" and "Durdyn" both are deaths that she endured this year and she just needs to hear that we miss him too and it's ok, she will ask questions or tell you things that you think a four year old can't possibly or shouldn't know, but somehow she does, she takes forever to eat but will ask you for a snack every five minutes, she will ask for gum but you don't need to answer because she will answer her own question with "oh, no it has too much sugar", she will make up songs, pretend to know gymnastics, show you how she is getting better at snapping and she will probably tell you about every single person she has ever met and give you a story to go along with it and then ask you, 'do you know them too?'"

......BUT I know deep down that I will simply smile and say thank you to her teacher, walk out the door quickly to the car so no one sees me teary eyed and realize that my baby will miss me too (at least that is what I am going to tell myself).I'm a pretty tough cookie but when it comes to my babies I just have a soft spot!

Not qualified but got the job

I love reading blogs, BUT I am horrible at keeping up with my own. Despite what some people think, being a stay at home mom keeps me extremely busy. Of course, this is on top of my other roles as wife, sister, friend, daughter, business partner to my hubby and more.....

There are many days that I think having a full time career outside the home would be more appropriate for me, but I am choosing to remain devoted to what God has called me to do (my calling to do this was not very clear until I realized every time I tried to do something else, it didn't work out as it should have according to my plan). Even when it made no sense for me to stay home financially (which makes for a great excuse to get back into the workforce...lol), every time I tried my plan failed and then when I went back to focusing on staying home things would fall into place. Crazy I know!

I am also not the person who believes that it is a women's responsibility to stay home with her kids. I would be perfectly happy, capable and comfortable with providing financially for my family. In fact, I always thought I was going to build my career (just like my mom) and I would NEVER be a stay at home mom by choice. I know I'm crazy but I fought the idea of staying home, so then I tried to do both at the same time, yeah that didn't work out so good...lol.

Then in the end, I gave in to God and chose to trust Him. Yes, I still fight it at times and try to do something other than being a full time mom. And then I quickly realize, that God called me to be a stay at home mom to stretch me and mold me into what He has planned for me, not what I had planned for me. It's not always about what comes easy to you (staying at home is not easy for me). I have heard people say, "well I have a full time job and I come home and do the laundry and dishes too". Yes I too would have said this until now. You are correct that you have a full time job and no one should discredit that, BUT you have someone taking care of your children during the day (who might I add is working their full time job...lol). I am the daycare worker of my own in home daycare, to no one elses kids but my own. It might be a breeze for some, but for me it is a full time job...I too am wiped out at the end of the day and still have a load of laundry, dishes to wash, grocery shopping to do and a house to clean (when your kids are home all day, the house does NOT stay clean).

So, my point is that I am learning to be a stay at home mom and not to envy those who have a full time career that I was once climbing the ladder for. (Again, this is my struggle and I do realize that not everyone has this same struggle) But I am trusting God that He will equip me with the tools I need to do this, (a career was much easier for this chic) and not sure why I am surprised by this but God is fulfilling His promise. Just the other day I said to Jeff, "Do you realize that you provide for our family, so that I am able to stay home with our kids. WOW, I never thought that would come out of my mouth" (the stay at home part that is)...to which he just laughed and I am pretty sure felt a boost of confidence that said "your right, you've never said it that way before" and "I do provide solely for our family". I am not sure why I just realized this but after 3 years of being home full time I accepted and acknowledged it, not only was it an "aha" moment for me, but a compliment that my hubby needed to hear from me.

So, I am a proud stay at home mom who never thought I would ever say those words do to pride. I am learning to spend time with my girls, really soak in their personalities, listen intently to non stop singing, chatter and questions (at least from Lola) and to hold them close, hug and kiss on them, build them up with affirmations, read to them, play with them (this is hard to do, if you are one who likes to get things done, as playing squinkies doesn't clean the house) and be a family who plays, prays and grows together.

Here are a few pics of how we have been progressing with my new realization:

There's a first for everything

Our first vacation as a family of four!! We loaded up the car, added the storage container, followed by the seadoo....yes we look like the circus coming to town. Packing the car was a little bittersweet as we only had to account for one dog and not two. These are the moments that bring up memories for all of us even Lola. Although I must say one dog is so much easier....usually that is unless you are going to Walt Disney world where no dogs are allowed. Note to self....don't tack on two weeks in St.Louis to your trip AND leave the dog at home!!

Our first day at the most magical place on earth was spent at the Animal Kingdom. We quickly went on the safari ride to which Lola loved although she was a little concerned we might get lost. We watched the parade. Got pictures taken with Donald duck, Brer Rabbit and Minnie Mouse. Jeff and Lola rode the Kali River Rapids and got soaked! Lola thought it was great as it was the first ride she met the height requirement. Saylor loved all of the shows, activities and characters too. I couldn't believe how great she was considering the heat and long day. We then had dinner at the Rainforest cafe which was magical in itself. Thunderstorms, Julius Squeezer (boa constrictor above Lola's head), monkeys, rainbows and the best part of all was the "volcano"!! Lola's birthday dessert that was HUGE and oh so yummy.

The Good, The Bad and The Best is Yet to Come.....

This week has been quite the roller coaster ride. It started with another doctors appointment with low fluids and another trip to triage (which I despise). Lots of contractions although none that will stay consistent and it will all end with a trip to the hospital to be induced at 9am tomorrow. 

On Thursday, our chocolate lab was sporting a huge lump on his neck, which was not there previously. So we called the vet, they came to the house for an appointment. After blood work, some other nasty poking and prodding, we were told we would find out the results the next day. Today we got the call that his blood work was good, but the other poking and prodding results were not so good. It is either cancer or a very serious infection. So we make an appointment at 2pm to have x-rays (certainly not how I planned to spend the day before our daughter arrives). All the meanwhile, we have to discuss both scenarios with the cancer being the obvious concern. If it is cancer, we decided we would put him down. Again, not something we planned on dealing with the day before the birth of Saylor. With that thought comes a LOT of emotion, discussion on how to explain death to Lola and the logistics of the whole process (which is rather expensive - who knew). Well, x-rays showed that the bones looked good and next we try antibiotics hoping that it is an infection. We are not out of the woods with the cancer theory, but rather gained a week before we have to make any decisions. We are seriously praying for our dog that the antibiotics will clear up what we hope to be an infection. 

Now on to the rest of the day, well that gets better too...LOL! Lola is very excited about her new sister. In fact she asked Jeff when he came home last week from St. Louis if he had brought Saylor with him. Although today, she was more worried about what I was going to wear to the hospital. And then proceeded to inform and show me how the doctor will pull my legs up to my ears, tell me to push and then wipe the baby goo off the baby. Then, she will come in and hold her. (too much Baby Story on TLC) Jeff dropped her off at the Bartlett's house. 

Of course I'm cleaning to make sure the house is clean when we get home. Jeff comes in and says, "Well I just hit the garage with the car." My mouth drops and I proceed to do something I now regret....drop my head and say, "You have got to be kidding me." and a lot more reprimanding from me than necessary. After dropping several hundred dollars on our dog in two days and with the realization of the car expense, I think I got overwhelmed. Whew!!

It's time to focus on the main event and get ready to become a family of four tomorrow. I must say it is a little strange knowing the exact day and time of her birth before she arrives. I suppose the time of day will be our surprise. With Lola, we didn't know the time, day or sex of our new arrival. So they will each have their own story. 

Off to bed as we have a big day ahead!!

PS Natalia this post is for you and I hope to continue to post regularly :)

Jump Start

2011 is all wrapped up and is now the past. 2012 is unfolding very quickly and I am proclaiming it to be an exciting and adventurous new year with lots of learning, adapting and growing!

So many new things that are already planned for 2012 and I'm sure plenty that is unplanned (the hard part for me). I am extremely pregnant....which means I am feeling huge and Baby Saylor is quite busy doing who knows what inside my body. Lola is extremely excited to be a BIG sister, which also means she now realizes that she is moving up the family ladder (simply put she is rather bossy and is sure to be a big "help" once Saylor makes her debut). We've set our goals, gone over our budget, created a plan for the year (well, so we think as we have no idea how to plan for a family of four...LOL) and will be starting our 21 day fast (spiritual goal setting). Don't worry I do realize that food is extremely necessary and I won't be cutting it out, so my fasting is more of a focus on spending an hour with God daily for 21 days, something I know will be hard with a 3 yr old, but I am determined to start this year out different. And, frankly God has been nudging me to do some things better and this is one of them, so I am going to hit it hard and try and get a habit formed before my newest little sidekick comes on the scene.

So, I'm as ready as ready can be for the year to begin rolling. Here are a few scriptures that I am focusing on daily to increase my faith, love unconditionally, trust fully and worry less.

Jeremiah 29:11, John 14:14, Matthew 6:25-34 and Mark 11:22-25

Hopefully, this is going to be a part of my routine as well. Blogging from my heart - I honestly think about it alot, but get a little nervous about exposing my heart, thoughts and feelings. So, I am going to try and get passed that fear and go for it :)

Lola-isms

So, I do realize that not everyone will find the things that Lola says funny.....so if you don't just pass on through because that is what this post is about. She makes me laugh and I love her for that. 

She has a teddy bear with a cast on it's leg that her Aunt Jenn gave her when she broke her foot earlier this year. She came up to me today carrying it and asked, "Was I a talking baby when I got this bear?" Simply, put she couldn't remember when she got it and needed to be reminded, "Yes you were a talking baby, you got it when you broke your foot." "Oh, Yeah" is all she says and moves on. 

Jeff always tells her that she was in God's pocket when we got married (she doesn't quite fully understand marriage yet, except that she has been in a wedding and is going to be in another in September). Today, she asked me, "Mom, how did I fit in God's pocket?" Of course, Jeff is out of town for this one and he is the one that made up the pocket thing in the first place. I just laughed and thankfully something else caught her attention. 

She also asked if she could look in my mouth like the doctor does to her, so I obliged. She says, "Mom, I see your bumper." Huh, what in the world is a bumper? And then it hits me, she means Uvula (medical term for the thing that hangs down in the back of your throat, just sounds gross typing it). Anywho, I looked up the medical term, so not to confuse anyone. :)

And last but not least, I bought her a pack of nerds (ok, so I bought them for me, but had to share). We get to the car and she asks if she can have one of the treats we bought. "What are those called mom?" I replied "Nerds". She then has this disgusted look on her face and says, "No they are not Mom that is disgusting." So clearly she has gotten confused and replaced the "N" with "T", both words we do not say in our home as we have no need. I try not to laugh because I now realize she thinks I have called them "Terds" and is reluctant to eat them. Bahaha!! 

She also said to me today, "Mom I ask too many questions, don't I?" I want to say "Yes", but don't as I never want her to stop being inquisitive or to think that any question is stupid. 

Thank you Aunts for teaching her "Girls Rule"
(along with her own personal gang sign)

Rain is so much fun

"Splish Splash"

Needless to say, we really don't have a dull moment in our house. And, we cannot make stuff up as she is so smart that she will call you out or ask you way more questions than you thought imaginable for a 3 year old. It is her best quality and at times pushing me to my patience limit for the day. But she sure is cute!!